A Fair Dinkum dumping
In my gap year, I traveled around Australia with a bunch of guys. We often adopted and dropped various hangers-on in the form of other travelers, most frequently they were female...and mad. For a couple of weeks I was seeing one of these female hangers-on, but I wasn’t that into the relationship, particularly as communal hostel living isn’t conducive to getting laid. I basically couldn’t be arsed to continue in the pretence of our ‘relationship’...I didn’t actually tell her that it was over, mind you, because I couldn’t bring myself to say those words. And so she routinely came out with us, all dressed up, to the bar we drank in and satnext to me all night.
After one long, beer-soaked night when this woman had finally gone to bed, I drunkenly told my sorry story of not being able to dump the poor woman to a bronzed Aussie surfer who worked in the bar. He gamely offered to take her off my hands. So the next day, he came over and informed the poor, deluded woman that, “You do realise this Pommie bastard’s given you the elbow?”
Don, 32, London
